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Jokes
good news, bad news
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital.
One day while they were walking passed the hospital swimming
pool, John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the
bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him.
He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John out.
The medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He
immediately ordered that David be discharged from the Mental
Hospital, as he considered him to be OK.
The Doctor said, "We have good news and bad news for you, David!
The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you
have regained your senses. Since you were able to jump in and save
another patient you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that
the patient whom you saved, Mr. John, hung himself in the bathroom,
and died."
David replied, "Doctor, he didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry."
IN OR OUT
A father, a lawyer and an HMO President all died and went to the pearly gates to
receive their judgment. "So," Saint Peter said to the father,
"what have you done in your life to deserve eternal happiness?" The
dad explained that he was devoted to his wife and children, and that he
supported them both financially and emotionally.
St. Peter said, "Well, that's pretty good. Come on in."
Saint Peter then asked the lawyer, "What have you done in your life to
deserve eternal happiness?"
The lawyer explained that, even though she wasn't perfect, she devoted her life
to defending the helpless. Saint Peter thought for a bit, then said, "Well,
nobody's perfect," and let her in.
Finally, Saint Peter asked the HMO president, "What have you done in your
life to deserve eternal happiness?"
"Well," said the HMO president, "I've provided affordable
healthcare for all who need it," he said.
Saint Peter thought for a bit, then pointed to the down escalator.
"But why? Why can't I go to Heaven?" the HMO president asked
frantically.
Saint Peter sighed and said, "Okay, but you can only stay here two to three
days."
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